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Explaining Chamois Butt'r to a non-cyclist

My entry of the week in the cx magazine CrossVegas contest. 

The friction coefficient of spandex becomes nominal at the dermal layer when activities produce .0035om static charge thereby raising the follicles to a statistically significant level. At this level discomfort is generally introduced at the .0049om charge level. At the .0054om level of charge, the f~ coefficient increases exponentially at a rate of .034 * 3_i. Superficial abrasion to the dermal layer typically occurs at .007om charge. Such abrasion has been known to have a detrimental effect on cyclists: decreasing speed, increasing heart rate, increasing levels of endorphins and over taxing the cardiovascular system. In order to reduce the friction coefficient a lubrication layer can be introduced. An effective reduction in static charge is achieved at .3mm. A product like chamois butt'r has been developed to accommodate this need. - I know, I'm an engineer.

http://www.cxmagazine.com/win-chamois-buttr-swag-bag-crossvegas-vip-ticket-entering-contest-week-2

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